Feeling A Moment
by jeffiner1892
Summary: After sharing his past with a troubled teen, Greg is sorely in need of comfort. Can the one person who has constantly pushed him away put aside her feelings and give him the courage to face his demons? Set loosely after "Half a Person", rated T because of suggestions of abuse


**OK so this is my first ever attempt at a fanfic (so be kind!). I got this idea following the exits of both characters and it refused and refused to go away until I just had to write it down. I just felt that there were still a couple of things we didn't see resolved between them like the fact Sahira knew about Greg's abuse and the lack of (though understandable) a proper goodbye between them. This one is more friendship based than romance because much as I liked the romance it paled in comparison to how much I adored their friendship which was very genuinely believable on screen. As it centres on Greg's abuse I did take a little liberty with how it panned out in reality just to produce my own take. I owe a big thank you to Michelle (sassybritchelle/x-MJ-x) for the help beta-ing this and for all the encouragement on Twitter and Emma (littlemissdizaster/DilemmaEmma80) for being my Greg companion.**

**The title "Feeling a Moment" is from the Feeder song of the same name, which is one of my favourite songs ever and perfect for Greg/Sahira.**

**Unfortunately much as I would like to, I do not own Holby City or any of its characters or stories.**

**Feel free to leave a review, good or bad, I value honest opinions**

**Feeling a moment**

Sahira watched as Greg spoke to the patient's father, spotting the thinly veiled look of loathing in his eyes as he did so. He had been acting strangely all day and this had only been exacerbated when he had taken on the case of 15 year old Lucy Haines. She had tried on several occasions to get him to tell her what was going on, but he had refused to speak. She wondered that if this wasn't her last day here on Darwin, Rafi having accepted a job in Nottingham, he would be more willing to speak to her. She shook her head at that thought, even when things were bad between them; she'd never seen him as bad as this. The look on his face when dealing with Lucy's case was one she'd only ever seen him wear once before and she had no wish to bring that up again.

It was her own fault really she supposed. She'd struggled to erase from her mind the look on his face when he'd realised his love for her wasn't reciprocated. In all honesty she didn't know if that was the case or that he was just braver than she was at facing the truth. However, the fact still remained that he was her best friend in this hospital and she'd implored him to remember why that was and to make her last day at the hospital less painful than it needed to be.

As she snapped back to reality she realised she was alone on the ward with Greg. She opened her mouth to speak to him but he pre empted her and cut her off before she could speak.

"Don't ask, Sahira, I mean it" he told her, attempting to sound cold but she could spot a distant look in his eyes. However, she knew not to push things with him if he didn't want to talk and decided to pursue the matter no further. She wasn't shy in letting him know this as she walked away, her sigh of frustration clearly audible.

An hour later she had finished with her last patient and had said goodbye to her colleagues on Darwin, apart from one. She had searched the ward for him but he was nowhere to be seen. She wasn't sure if she wanted to see him as she didn't think she could deal with "another awkward goodbye" but at the same time she didn't want them to end on bad terms. However, he seemed to be avoiding her and however much it was hurting her, she knew she'd be doing exactly the same if the roles were reversed.

She decided she needed to be somewhere to clear her head and she didn't want to go home just yet, so she made her way towards the roof. She knew it was out of bounds but right now she didn't care, all she wanted was to be alone. Anyway she'd already resigned so what could they do? However, as she reached the door and made her way out onto the roof she realised she wasn't alone. She could just make out his shape with his back to her at the opposite end of the roof.

As she approached him she was silent as she remembered what had happened the last time she'd encountered him up here and the awful revelation she had heard about his past. As she reached him she was alarmed to see tears falling from his eyes and she sincerely hoped she wasn't the cause of seeing him so vulnerable. She tentatively reached up and put her arm on his shoulder, grateful that he didn't shrug it off but instead pulled her closer as if he needed someone to lean on. She didn't push him away but gently held him as the tears flowed, all the while trying to fight back her own. Eventually he sank to the ground, not pushing her away when she sat beside him.

"I'm sorry you had to see that" he whispered, looking a little embarrassed. Rather than respond she just squeezed his shoulders gently waiting to see if he continued.

"You don't have to tell me about it if you don't want to," she murmured. "I just hope I haven't done anything to upset you."

"I would tell you if I could, I mean it, but it's not my secret to tell. It's just...how can someone do that to somebody, it just - it makes me sick seeing how she's been treated," he said, thinking out loud rather than addressing her. She understood what he meant though and realised why she'd seen that haunted look again today, it was the same look he'd worn when his childhood friend Andy had turned up unexpectedly and had brought back all those memories of his stolen childhood that he'd wanted to keep blocked out forever.

"Greg you know you have to help her. I know it's hard but you know what she's going through, you're the only person who can help her," she urged him. "I wish I could stay and help you through it but I can't, you know why," she said sadly. "I hate leaving you when you're so vulnerable though, especially given how often you've been there for me"

"You know I don't know how I'm going to get through work every day without you. You've been my reason for enjoying work, not just because of how I feel about you but because you're my best friend, you've gotten me through so many days in this place"

"It's been exactly the same for me, I meant what I said before, you've been my best friend in this place. I've really enjoyed working with you and I really won't forget all the fun times, the hiding from Jac, getting you hypnotised, just the amount of times you made me smile during work. I know we've had our downs as well as the ups and I'm really sorry for the way I've treated you. You really deserve to find someone who loves you."

"Just my luck that I finally meet the perfect person and fall in love, and she's married with two children" he laughed. "I'll miss you so much."

They continued to talk about the things they'd miss and all the fun times they'd shared together for a little while 'til he suddenly realised where they were and that she had finished her shift several hours ago. He hated having to remember that she had a husband and two children to go home to and once she walked out of those hospital doors he'd more than likely not see her again, but he knew he had to let her go.

"Rafi will be wondering where you are," he said, hating having to mention his name. He'd actually managed to tentatively build something of a friendship with Rafi, although that had all been disintegrated the minute Rafi's fist had connected with his face. She sighed but began to make her way to her feet, pulling him alongside her. Suddenly she remembered something for him in her bag.

"Here, I was going to leave something for you in case I didn't see you before I left but I'll give it to you now," as she reached into her bag. Before she came across it however, her fingers brushed something else, a small wrapped package with her name on it in his writing. "Greg, what's this?"

"It's just a little goodbye gift from me, I did contribute to the one from the rest of Darwin but I wanted to give you something from me as well. Don't worry, it's not something Rafi will be angry at," he smiled nervously. She started to open it gently, being careful not to tear the paper. As she finally revealed what it was, she gave a gasp and tears welled up in her eyes.

It was a small frame which contained a picture of the two of them laughing and joking. She remembered the day they'd taken these photos, they'd been on the same break and had just spent it messing about and taking pictures on each other's phones, back when Rafi was still just a name to Greg, before things had become awkward between them, when they were just Sahira and Greg, friends and colleagues with something underlying beneath the surface. She was touched as she noticed the green frame and the small picture of a Shetland pony in the top corner, remembering the conversation that day outside Hanssen's office. Along the bottom of the frame were the simple words, "Friends forever" and on the back attached to it, a note from him just saying how much he would miss her and how sorry he was that things had to end the way they did.

"You don't like it," he whispered, seeing that she hadn't said anything and taking her tears as a sign of disappointment. She quickly snapped back to reality.

"No," she said softly, "no, this is, this is beautiful. I'm just disappointed because what I have for you pales in comparison". At that she withdrew a small box which he opened to reveal a cupcake, at which he immediately smiled.

"I was a bit unsure about leaving it with you, after what happened with the last one. You'll treat this one a little more gently I hope," remembering the horrible events of that day. He looked a little wistful at that point too, remembering what he'd done and how he'd felt when he saw the cupcake and the emotions that had run through him that day. As he thought to himself he probably pinpointed that as the moment when things had gone wrong between them, but as he thought he'd lost her, he had no regrets about what had transpired that day, just regret for how he handled it afterwards. It would take a long time for him to find another person like her, possibly forever. At least he knew now it was possible to love someone, even if they didn't return it.

"So I guess this is goodbye, Sahira Shah," he said, holding out his hand, remembering how he had dismissed her handshake the first time he thought he was leaving her. However, she bypassed his hand and taking his face in her hands gently pressed a short but tender kiss to his lips, making sure to pull away before either of them reacted any further.

"If you're ever single, I'm looking you up," he said as she walked away from him. Just before she reached the door of the roof and exited through it, she turned and smiled back at him.

"I might hold you to that. Goodbye Greg," she replied before moving through the door.

As he watched her leave him, possibly forever, all of a sudden he didn't feel as lonely as he had earlier. The pain in his heart was still there but he found he could move past it. The worst had happened to him but he was still standing. As he exited the roof Greg Douglas, for the first time in his life, felt in control of his own fate.

**Well there you go, I hope you like what I've done. Credit to Scrubs for the last line from Greg, the goodbye between Elliott Reid and Pvt Brian Dancer in Season 6 is one that always stuck with me and this is the line Brian uses. Hope you enjoyed it, feel free to leave a review or tweet me ( jeffiner1892)**

**xx**


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